Tried everything and still not pregnant

I recently received this email via the website and the sender has kindly let me share it with you. 

Question:
Still trying to conceive at 45 after being off contraception since 39.  Long story but
relationship hit a few rocks until 43 so even though I have been trying to have
a baby with the same man since 39, I did not feel like I could really start
trying properly until 43 (fate did not get me pregnant from 39 to 43).
Everyone now saying old eggs but the last 2 years I have really looked at
my diet, completed 9 months of TCM and acupuncture with a Harley Street
practioner, eating healthy, a fair bit of organic and totally changed my diet
still not to be pregnant (with lots of supplements also). Now about to embark
on natural IVF with a maximum 5 per cent chance. Do you  believe in the
old eggs theory and that 45 is past it?  Answers appreciated.
Told my cycles are very regular but my egg reserve has dipped a lot in the last
2 years.  FSH was 6.5 at 43 1/2 and is now over 13 I think.

Answer:
Dear (name disclosed)

Thanks for your email and for trusting me with this.
First of all: You are still fertile at 45, especially if your periods are so
regular. You can basically get pregnant as long as you’re ovulating and having
a period. The key is to optimize the quality of your eggs (quantity is not so
important but the doctors like to test the egg reserve, partly because they can
then do a harder IVF sell).

It seems you are doing the right things by eating
well, TCM, acupuncture etc. Did you have a hair strand analysis (I’d recommend
‘foresight preconception’)? This can point you in the right direction; whether
you need to add specific superfoods/supplements. Everyone is different, so the
general over the counter supplements may not be ideal for you. I would also
recommend detoxing 3 months before conception because it gives your growth
hormones (anti-ageing hormones) a boost and prepares your body for pregnancy.
Toxins cross the placenta to the growing baby and they can get in the way of
healthy cell division during conception.

I would also make sure you’re exercising your pelvic area and getting blood
flowing to the region. Natural light is important, especially now in the
winter. You need at least 20 mins a day to activate the pituitary gland which
control the ovaries. Not sure if you saw the blog on my website about this:
http://www.claudiaspahr.com/?p=619

More and more scientific research is being presented confirming how our mind
controls our body. My publishers Hay House have lots of books on this subject.
When it comes to conception this is also very important. Have you tried any
form of yoga, meditation or hypnotherapy? You basically need to stay positive
and really believe that you WILL get pregnant, rather than ‘wanting’ to get
pregnant. This is a very subtle shift but it can make all the difference. You
even mention yourself that you weren’t really ‘letting yourself’ get pregnant
before 43, maybe because you felt the relationship wasn’t stable enough or
whatever. It could be that your body is still listening to the ‘old’ mindset or
that on a deeper level you haven’t actually shifted it yet and ‘opened up’ to
conception.

I hope your partner is on board with the healthy eating etc because 50% of the
onus is on the guy. You could be doing everything right, but the sperm may not
be as fit as they could be. Men have it easier because they only need 3 months
for sperm to renew. But this means 3 months of dedicated commitment, such as no
binge drinking or smoking, for eg.

As for Natural Cycle IVF. A client did this at nearly 45 and now has a
baby boy. It worked on round 2. She detoxed and
meditated too. To be honest her husband continued drinking, although he cut
down considerably.
By the way I don’t believe the ‘old eggs’ theory. The female egg is the most mysterious cell in the human
body and doctors like to make assumptions based on little scientific evidence.
What we do know is that the period of follicle ripening (3 months to 2 years)
is important. So all the healthy eating and TCM you’ve been doing is great
because it’s been preparing the womb environment and follicular fluid. The
results may not have been immediate but it wasn’t for nothing.

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any more questions.
Kind regards and all the best
Claudia

Answer

Thanks I really appreciate this very personal response. In over 2 years of really trying to get pregnant I have not had this personal response from anyone.

It is a very hard journey isn’t it, and the worst part about it is beating yourselves up that you should have done things differently but we are all at where we are at (so the saying goes)….When I get the end result it would have all been worth it.

Enjoy your day (name disclosed)

 

We continued our conversation via email but I won’t post the answers as they were more specific to her personal case.